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January 30, 2009

1. I am an only child of an only child. i.e. I have no brothers, sisters, cousins, aunts or uncles.

2. I went to OSU for Religion. And would go back in a heartbeat, also for religion and after that seminary.

3. One of two regrets I have in life is not finishing my bachelors

4. The other is not listening carefully to someone I loved, who needed my help. She killed herself 2 days later.

5. My son was the direct result of me swearing women were all crazy and I didn’t need the drama, or them. I very quickly found that BEING a lesbian was indeed effective birth control, but only if you don’t..well…you can probably reconstruct the rest. :sigh:

43. I lived in a van for a while. I showered at truck stops and slept on the ground at rest stops. I went home and couch surfed with random people for weeks in different states. Ate a lot of ramen, and once got stuck by a broken axle in Sheboygan, Wisconsin.

8. I have had 6 different last names in my life.

9. I had my first ‘girlfriend’ at 14, but no one knew. No one. When I came out to my mom at 18, she said- NO SHIT, SHERLOCK. Really. My mom is awesome.

10. I played both Columbia and Janet in Rocky Horror Picture Show in Dayton Ohio, between the ages of 14 and 16. My mom is awesome but… I do question her judgement letting her 14 yr old parade around in underwear in a theatre.

11. I used to be OBSESSED with Ayn Rand and objectivism and to this day am very influenced by her philosphy.

12. That kind of made my head explode when i started having genuinely religious experiences.

13. Ditto on the head expolding when I encountered life outside my middle class privilege.

14. I also had an obsession with Malcolm X. I actually knew nothing about the history of civil rights movement, and nothing about him when I started reading his Autobiography- when in the end notes he was shot I was totally shocked and cried and cried.

15. As a teenager, I liked biographies and picked up random things to avoid doing schoolwork. Once at a thrift store I picked up Fanny Hill and took it to school. I started it in AP English and couldn’t understand why my (queeny) teacher gave me an extreme eyebrow arch- until I got a few pages in and discovered it was not a biography, but, in fact, a very famous, very very dirty book. To his credit, he said not one word.

16. um…I can’t think of anything else. Oh wait, the old standby. I have a 9 inch scar on my face and a metal plate in my head. On the plate there are 2 screws. One of them has been pushed out by the bone a bit, and needs surgically fixed. So it can truly be said, that I have a screw loose.

14. You will never, ever hear my whole story

11. I don’t follow directions well, and can’t count.

13. I have major authority issues. Major. I instantly hate any person that tells my children what to do. This makes parent teacher conferences awkward
17. If I could dance in synch with anyone at all, I would join a burlesque troop or some kind of performance group. But I can’t. I have never once done the electric slide or even the chicken dance right. I am not a bad dancer, alone, just completely inept with others.
18. Which begs the question; But yeah, I do own a mirror, I do know what i really look like and I STILL don’t give a f*k. I like being onstage.

97. I have phenomenally bad luck with girls. The first girl I kissed was a model and died of anorexia, my first serious girlfriend killed herself, and my high school girlfriend joined a freaking convent. for real. Since I was only 13 when we kissed and 17 when she died, the anorexia thing was a major imprinting on me- i am absolutely not attracted to model skinny girls.

20. I founded a commune in 1996 called Imladriss. We had …fun.. to say the least. A lot of fun. It eventually exploded in a very messy fashion.

21. I haven’t had a TV my entire adult life, and have serious gaps in my cultural knowledge.
22. I will be 36 years old in april. I had a great time when I was 35, but I am a little uneasy about 36. Does it matter? I don’t know. I am restless and bored. Dangerous.

23. I am re-starting the group Lesbian Avengers here in Cbus. holla if you want to do outrageous things in the name of political activism…I am pretty sure the first meeting will be showing up at some of the business here in Cbus that contributed to Prop 8 in Cali..
24. I hardly ever discipline my kids, but I am a stricter parent than you would probably guess. No TV, no r rated movies, parental controls. We say grace before we eat. I don’t get :real: backtalk or defiance. (I get a LOT of sarcasm though, but that’s my fault). If I can get them to cooperate through humor, I will always go there first. Most of the hard work of discipline and establishing limits and dominance was done when they were toddlers, and now I am just coasting until they figure out they can kick my ass. I am actually scared silly of the teenage years, as I was a certifiable nutcase as a teen. I’m sure my mom will say I deserve this.

25. San Francisco story: When I was in Sanfran with J at a bus stop, this guy started saying gross things to us, harassing us for being queer. (in san fran!) J started verbally matching his grossness, and was freaking him out. I got kind of scared because he kept getting closer, so I finally said to J- ok I need to handle this MY way. She stepped back and let me. *MY way to deal with harassment is screaming my bloody head off, and making the biggest scene I possibly can. Which i did. And I felt much better, because at least he stepped back looked around to see if anyone was paying attention to the loony lady. And j, because she is awesome, did not get embarassed or hush me. She said simply, ‘that’s some set of pipes ya got there, lady’. And then we got on the bus.
26. I am an expert on drugs. Not illegal drugs, all kinds of drugs. from Tylenol to anti depressants to Botox to heroin. Not because I have done all these things, just because brain chemistry is one of the most fascinating things ever.
27. I dream vividly and lucidly, almost every night.
28. In my dreams, I am always male.
29. I really know what people mean when they say they are ‘trapped’ in the wrong body. My body has NEVER fit my head. In my head I am 6 ft tall and bulletproof.
30. I am not motivated by guilt and shame in any way.
31. My favorite way to answer the door to canvassers and missionaries: Topless. Democrats just smirk. Republicans stutter and turn around, missionaries run like hell. Awesome. Instant filter. Yes, I do this in Grandview, yes you can come watch- traumatizing people is a spectator sport here in the summer.
32. As you may have guessed from that last one, I have virtually no ‘typical’ womens body issues. I just can’t give a crap if I gain or lose 10 lbs. I was even an artist’s model for a while. I am not modest.
33. I am a complete hypocrite about makeup. I would never date a girl who wears makeup, but I hardly ever leave the house without it.
34. I wish I was a little bit taller, I wish I was a baller. That’s my ringtone on Julies phone. luvs it.
35. It takes a LOT to get me to leave the house. If we are friends, don’t be offended that I don’t come to you. I make up for it by making good coffee.
36. I am way more psychic than is good for me.

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4 Comments leave one →
  1. February 2, 2009 1:47 pm

    Re: #10… and what would you have done if I told you to stop?

  2. mamajinx permalink*
    February 2, 2009 2:30 pm

    LOL.. very true. I would have done it anyway. Dear mom, I am sorry I was an asshole as a teenager..

  3. February 3, 2009 9:41 am

    I couldn’t agree more, you were indeed…but you have grown to be a fantastic woman for whom I have tremendous respect and tons of love. You are a wonderful and wise mother, and the mother I wish I could have been.

  4. Teena permalink
    February 10, 2009 12:16 pm

    I think we were all assholes as teenagers. 🙂

    I want to be a Lesbian Avenger. Sign me up!

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