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Slut

July 18, 2009

Having a conversation with a friend the other day and this came up. This word, this concept. SLUT. My friend is much younger, almost 1/2 my age and Irealized suddenly that this word really has meaning in her life.

It did in mine, at that age. And much younger. In fact, it was often the defining characteristic I thought of as being mine. I was not the jock, not the stoner, I was the slut. Just found some people I knew from j.r. highon Facebook.. Oh my, what a hot mess. Between 5th and 6th grade I moved to Dayton. I was nothing short of tortured by my new classmates. I was miserable, funny looking and depressed AND my parents were having a nasty divorce.

The summer bettween 6th and 7th, the titty fairy came and I was suddenly a pretty girl. Puberty was kind to me and makeup was my salvation. Boys were interested and I had power for the first time in my life. I had also an uncomfortable awakening to girls that summer, (o softball fields, my young heart laid at first base and my dreams were sweaty girls with broad shoulders)  I had to lot to prove to my inner homophobe. When I was 16 my dad told had the sex talk with me; his explanation of getting to 1st base, 2nd base 3rd base was acutely embarassing and woefully late; By the end of 7th grade, I had worn a groove in home plate, by the end of 8th I was a switch hitter.

You know when you say a word over and over until it has no meaning, or starts sounding foreign? That is the word slut. I heard it daily. every day. Jr high, high school. slutslutslut until it sounded like an chocolate ice cream cone hitting the floor. :slut:

I took women’s studies in college and it opened my eyes to sexual politics, double standards, and the concept of being sex positive. Putting in it’s place the Judeo Christian slutshame that only belongs in that company and most certainly doesn’t belong in THIS head. I read about the sacred ancient temples where whore/priestesses served Goddess through anonymous and sacred sex, of healers that in ancient times used their powers and were consdiered holy.

Who ever thought that loving freely was a bad thing?? Who took the most natural thing in the world and made it evil?

Rooting out that demon, putting the disapproving white bearded GOD in His place in my head, putting Him out of the shame business in my life was the heathiest thing I have ever done.

I’m a lover; a skilled, funny, healing, empathaic, dextrous, sensual, wild and unforgettable one. You can call it a slut, if you want.

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