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my story

September 11, 2010

I often wonder, out loud, what story children will tell themselves about their childhood.

But really, I’m not that interested in what other’s children think of their parents> All I really want to know is what story MY children will tell about their childhood. It is completely narcissistic. I want to know what my character looks like in their memoirs.

Will the title of Ay’s autobiography be ” My life as a drug fiends/chronic slut/hippie pagan’s child”

I tried 3 different ways to write that

Or will she write “Saint’s Daughter”

Or “Jesus Saves Pagans”

When my heart is weighed with a feather, will the good I have done, outweigh the bad?

I want to know how history remembers me.

Maybe not really narcissistic, because what I really I want to know how my children as adults see themselves when they look in the mirror.

I want to know that they are healthy because of or in spite of me. Either one will do, so long as they see themselves as whole.

One Comment leave one →
  1. OddParent permalink
    December 22, 2010 5:32 am

    My oldest, a girl, is just now in first grade. She thinks her parents are strange, but often speaks of the benefits of belonging to our family. How strange? Last night, a school night, I only skipped waking them up at 3:00 AM because the weather made it impossible to witness the first lunar eclipse to take place on Winter Solstice in 500 years. That night, I found an injured owl in one of the chicken pens. At age 4, with proper safety precautions, my son was able to look into an owls eyes from a foot away. At age 5, my daughter became outraged when someone called a neighbor Mexican only for that person’s genetics. “She’s an American!” my daughter demanded. How will my children remember me? As that Odd Parent who brainwashed them into being caring people? Maybe as the source for endless stories that other children can only imagine. Ultimately, I do not think it matters what your adult children think of you as long as you have raised them to do just that. Not just think of you, but ‘think’.

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