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Something I would say to someone from past

December 16, 2009

I have everything I need, and most of what I want.

I have survived and thrived. I always will, you may count upon that.

And I will always, forever have the last laugh,

because I can laugh at myself and you can’t.



October 11, 2009



Happy coming out day

shove your age appropriate clothing up your ass.

October 7, 2009
Arrgh. Ok. One more time people. No, you don’t get to be your kids BFF. Yes, you have to be the bad guy sometimes and make sure the homework gets done. Healthy boundaries in a parent child relationship are important, as evidenced in a couple of my favorite phrases.
-None of your business
-Go outside and play
-This is for adults, not children
-Because I said so. … Read More
BUT! And this is a HUGE BUT! The authors of the Forbes article are confusing Genx moms refusal to lay down and die after they reach 30 as being evidence of their immaturity. I don’t WANT to ‘grow up’ and wear dockers and shit. I don’t want to stop trying new things. I don’t want to stop being a sexual being. I love my kids, but they aren’t how I define my existence.
And FYI, Gen X is never going to ‘grow up’ as long as the boomers are still alive. This generation has lived their whole life in the shadow of the massive narcissistic clot of the Boomers that has shaped our lives, sucked up our resources, and stymied our opportunities. . If you want to know “why 40 is the new 20”, look at your mom at 40. Does that look like something you want to be? For most Gen Xers, it doesn’t. We are the eternal sulky teenagers, pissed that mom and dad are still calling the fucking shots, just because of the pure numbers of them.
I advocate shooting Boomers for sport. 
Just kidding, Mom!

search history

September 7, 2009

Sometimes, I look at my search history and become concerned about my mental health.

Things that appeared in my Google search history this morning:


mike the headless chicken

headless chicken festival

lesbian festival

slang for heroin

urban dictionary

pygmy jerboa


married to the sea


columbus cratfs

columbus crafts indie

lazy sunday


July 18, 2009

Having a conversation with a friend the other day and this came up. This word, this concept. SLUT. My friend is much younger, almost 1/2 my age and Irealized suddenly that this word really has meaning in her life.

It did in mine, at that age. And much younger. In fact, it was often the defining characteristic I thought of as being mine. I was not the jock, not the stoner, I was the slut. Just found some people I knew from j.r. highon Facebook.. Oh my, what a hot mess. Between 5th and 6th grade I moved to Dayton. I was nothing short of tortured by my new classmates. I was miserable, funny looking and depressed AND my parents were having a nasty divorce.

The summer bettween 6th and 7th, the titty fairy came and I was suddenly a pretty girl. Puberty was kind to me and makeup was my salvation. Boys were interested and I had power for the first time in my life. I had also an uncomfortable awakening to girls that summer, (o softball fields, my young heart laid at first base and my dreams were sweaty girls with broad shoulders)  I had to lot to prove to my inner homophobe. When I was 16 my dad told had the sex talk with me; his explanation of getting to 1st base, 2nd base 3rd base was acutely embarassing and woefully late; By the end of 7th grade, I had worn a groove in home plate, by the end of 8th I was a switch hitter.

You know when you say a word over and over until it has no meaning, or starts sounding foreign? That is the word slut. I heard it daily. every day. Jr high, high school. slutslutslut until it sounded like an chocolate ice cream cone hitting the floor. :slut:

I took women’s studies in college and it opened my eyes to sexual politics, double standards, and the concept of being sex positive. Putting in it’s place the Judeo Christian slutshame that only belongs in that company and most certainly doesn’t belong in THIS head. I read about the sacred ancient temples where whore/priestesses served Goddess through anonymous and sacred sex, of healers that in ancient times used their powers and were consdiered holy.

Who ever thought that loving freely was a bad thing?? Who took the most natural thing in the world and made it evil?

Rooting out that demon, putting the disapproving white bearded GOD in His place in my head, putting Him out of the shame business in my life was the heathiest thing I have ever done.

I’m a lover; a skilled, funny, healing, empathaic, dextrous, sensual, wild and unforgettable one. You can call it a slut, if you want.


July 10, 2009

Just had a fascinating conversation with the kiddos about family. We are a quintessentially 21st century family. My kids have 2 different dads, a gay mom, a gramma who won’t marry her longtime manfriend, various exes of mine that are considered Aunties and Uncles…

So Zilla asks me a simple question, “what is Rich to me?”

Now Rich, usually referred to in my blogs as babydaddy1, is a dear friend, an ex and the father of my son. In other words- He is *no relation* to my daughter.

But, that doesn’t make sense to our hearts, and from that question we explore the rest of our family. We talk about our innovation; I have recently discovered I have approx 13 half sibs. Technically, there are just as much relation to me as my son and daughter are to each other…but i have never met any of them, only spoken to one, once on the phone.. are those relationships equal? Of course not. Somewhere out there. I have never met her, never seen her- she has the same she my sister, is she your Aunt or is Gabby? Gabby is! Julie and I aren’t married; she is *no relation* to my children…does she feel like a stranger to you? NO, we love her!

And my point is made.. Love, not biology, makes a family.

That’s why i love the word Te’Sorthene. English just doesn’t have words to describe my family. It didn’t have a word for email either 30 years ago. Times change and with it language and hopefully people, will evolve.

Catching the homo

June 11, 2009

I just twittered a link of the Day about the advances in neuroscience that have been made in regards to proving that being homo is NOT a choice, it’s a chemical thing and we can’t help it.
I see all these studies, and all this fascinating research and honestly it makes me cringe. I don’t want to know that sexuality is predetermined, even partially.
On one hand, it would make everything so much easier. I was born this way- Its not in my hands. I’m bald or I have blue eyes, it just IS. On the other hand, I wish in a visceral way they would stop even trying to find a ‘reason’.
I want it to be a choice, so as a culture we actually asre forced to confront the judeo christian/american conflict and err on the side of reason. I want the US as a country to have to look at it’s people and it’s laws and put the rules of 2000 years ago aside in favor of reason, compassion and freedom.
I don’t know, I resist the inquiry of science int o this. But.. but.. I know people that have been very close to me that were never in any doubt about their homosexuality. Shannon (RIP) ‘looked’ queer as hell, at 8. My friend N., my mom called him out when he was 11. It just was a part of their character.  How much easier would their lives have been if that was ‘ok’. I have always maintained it was a choice for me, but then I look at my ‘digit ratio’ and it shows (i think) clear markers for the ghey.
I guess I worry that after finding a cause, they will want to find a cure. But what a huge loss to civilization that would be! Is it wrong to wish they would just not be in such a rush to figure it out? I would rather they wait until more people would no more consider ‘curing’ homosexuality than ‘curing’ blue eyes.


Honestly, I would like the bigots to choke on my choice, before giving anyone an opportunity for pity.